2020 was supposed to be a wonderful year. With Matt and I getting married in February the year was looking bright as we started our new life together. Within a week of getting married the world shut down and I was told I couldn’t go to work. I spent the next 2 months waiting. By late Spring things had started moving again, and so we decided to take a vacation over the summer. Before returning home I fainted on a hike and from there my health spiralled. What was supposed to be a year filled with new beginnings soon turned into a sea of despair. I was left unable to take care of myself and unsure of what was happening to me. I was broken; a smashed vase with many pieces scattered throughout, struggling to put myself back together.
Music had always been my way of connecting with God and during those hard years I found it was my way of climbing out of my sorrow. We each have been given a special way of connecting with our Savior. For me, worship through music, songwriting and simply listening is mine. But as I sat in my brokenness, how could I worship truthfully, with an honest heart?
It is here, in the broken pieces, where I believe God truly meets us.
Without experiencing the valleys how can we learn to appreciate the mountains? And maybe singing in the valley can lead us to the mountain?
God meets us where we are, whether it be in the depths of despair or the joys of the hilltop. And we can still be near and close to Him in our brokenness; in fact, I would say it’s where we can be the most truthful with Him, honest and open. To lament our sorrows is where we can learn to “be still and know,” to let go and receive with an open hand. In this brokenness I found wholeness in Christ, a way to worship honestly, and a community to walk with me and challenge me. Without experiencing such brokenness, I would have never found the beauty of being made whole.
Jesus Himself sat with broken people. Luke 7:36-50 describes Him being anointed by a sinful woman. This woman, in her brokenness, worshiped Jesus and gave of herself by washing His feet with her tears, drying them with her hair and anointing His feet with perfumes. She was willing to do anything to express her love for Jesus.
Mark 2:13-17 also shows us that Jesus ate with tax collectors, who at that time were despised as traitors and extortioners. Jesus, the friend of sinners, sat at their table, which was a sign of friendship, and loved them despite their brokenness and sin. Unlike the Pharisees, Jesus did not separate Himself from the sinner, but welcomed them, showing love. “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.” As a collective body, the disciples and those who followed Jesus experienced joys and laughter, but they also experienced brokenness… together. In community we should be able to come to each other with our brokenness, to fellowship and join hands as we walk these difficult roads.
We are all broken and in need of a Savior - The Savior. I encourage you to come to each other, in community, and share your burdens. Worship God in the way you connect with Him alone, and as a community.
God has given us each other to walk life with, worship Him collectively, and share not only in our joys, but in our brokenness too.
What is your special way of worshiping and connecting with God?